Is self-esteem our greatest sin?

This is going to be a painful discourse. The first thing for which I will be excoriated is suggesting that self-esteem is sin - a term that atheists and even some religious folk will discount immediately as irrelevant and perhaps even offensive. Before we commence, let's try to agree on the definition of self-esteem.

Looking at definitions of self-esteem in several dictionaries, I sense a pattern:

Dictionary.com:
1. a realistic respect for or favorable impression of oneself; self-respect.
2. an inordinately or exaggeratedly favorable impression of oneself.

World English Dictionary:
1. respect for or a favourable opinion of oneself
2. an unduly high opinion of oneself; vanity

Merriam-Webster Dictionary:
1. a confidence and satisfaction in oneself : self-respect
2. self-conceit

The first definition in all these references has to do with, what I believe, is most people's idea of self-esteem. In their Psych Basics section, Psychology Today defines (and I use that term loosely here) self-esteem as:

Possessing little self-regard can lead people to become depressed, to fall short of their potential, or to tolerate abusive situations and relationships. Too much self-love, on the other hand, results in an off-putting sense of entitlement and an inability to learn from failures. (It can also be a sign of clinical narcissism.) Perhaps no other self-help topic has spawned so much advice and so many (often conflicting) theories.

PT then goes on to offer a list of more than 25 articles readers can view covering a variety of self-esteem basics which, they say, are our best insights on how to strike a balance between accurate self-knowledge and respect for who you are.

Reviewing the definitions above and the psychological implications, it's pretty clear that self-esteem is one of those things that needs to be finely balanced in our lives. These days though, we live in a Goldilocks world. I'm sure we can all recall the fairy tale from our childhoods when the girl finds the house in the woods and samples three items: porridge, chairs and beds. Leaving aside the obvious issue with this young lady feeling so bold as to enter a stranger's house in the middle of the forest, she is quite picky with regard to her comfort.

Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs

I've written about Abraham Maslow's Hierarchy before so I won't go into detail again. If you want to read up on his theories you can do so here. If we overlay the story of Goldilocks and the Three Bears on top of Maslow's Hierarchy, we can see that Goldilocks lives in the bottom layer of his pyramid. In the fairy tale, she is completely focused on physiological needs with, just maybe, a touch of security of body (safety) thrown in. If Goldilocks had high self-esteem, she would have handled the situation differently considering where respect of (and by) others sits in the pyramid of needs.

Back to reality, how can I float the suggestion that somehow self-esteem is connected with doing bad things? Well, since I used the term sin in my blog title, I'll come at this from a Jesus perspective. In the Gospel of Matthew 20:26-28, Jesus is quoted as saying, "It is not this way among you, but whoever wishes to become great among you shall be your servant, and whoever wishes to be first among you shall be your slave; just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many."

So, does this mean that Jesus had no self-esteem?

The Gospels are full of examples where Jesus did not rise to the challenges which most of us would attack from a self-esteeming position.

Early temptations: immediately before his earthly ministry really gets rolling, Jesus is attacked in the desert and tempted by Satan who targets every attack right at the heart of self-esteem. Is Jesus hungry? If he's the Son of God, just change these stones to bread. Feeling minimized? Worship Satan and gain all the kingdoms of the earth. Are you really immortal? Cast yourself down and watch the angels catch you before you hit the ground.

Every single one of these temptations sought to encourage Jesus to respond in a selfish way. Fortunately for us, that's not what He was here for.

Time after time, Jesus was offered the chance to elevate Himself. Matthew 22 has example after example of Pharisees, lawyers and scribes trying to trip Jesus up, get him to play the big man on campus so they can arrest him for blasphemy.

Both the Chief Priest and Pontius Pilate ask Jesus if He is the Christ or King of the Jews. Jesus responds in kind to both, letting Pilate know in Matthew 27 that it is others who are giving him the lofty titles, not himself.

Finally, in one last, cruel gesture, Luke 23:39 recounts one of the criminals who were hanged there was hurling abuse at Him, saying, “Are You not the Christ? Save Yourself and us!”

If Jesus were living according to Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, history would have been very different indeed. Despite His selfless examples, humanity has still progressed to the point where we have elevated self above all else. Looking at Maslow's pyramid, there is no sin in Esteem. Confidence, achievement, respect of others - respect by others - all of these things are good. If each of us has managed to climb above the lower steps of the hierarchy, to satisfy our basic physical and psychological needs, then a little self-esteem helps us love others as we love ourselves. That sounds a lot like what Jesus told the lawyers in Matthew 22:39.

Self-actualization gone wrong...

One of the problems with Maslow's Hierarchy - in my opinion - is that the higher up we go, the less likely we will be to adopt a servant mentality. In today's world, if you are a servant, that means you're being oppressed. If my goal in life is to reach the top of the pyramid, what am I striving for? Maslow says I can find morality at the top of the hierarchy. What does that mean? Do I have no morality until I get there? If that's the case, then self-esteem could be a sin because it sits a level below morality. If I have no morality but I have self-esteem, what am I?

So what's my point?

Self-esteem is fine as long as it is balanced against the needs of society as a whole. There are a mountain of books that offer to help us overcome esteem-busting people in our lives. You know the ones. But if we put all our effort, all our being, into reaching the Holy Grail of self-esteem; if self-esteem becomes the be-all and end-all, then we lose sight of the big picture...the greater good.

Perhaps my biggest point is that if we focus too much on self, we will miss the real source of our esteem.

What do you think?

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That's it - you're off!

It's Sunday. No one wants to think about Hell.

Sunday is about Heaven. I'm not going to cast aspersions on anyone's interpretation of Scripture but in my opinion, there are far too many who believe that by going to church on Sunday, they can make up for a multitude of sins committed between Monday and Saturday.

Church becomes the limbo bar that we duck under to avoid paying the penalty for our sin(s). Hell is the inexorable stone door that modern culture has taught us we can avoid with some effort and a little luck.

Indy loses his whip, but we all know what happens...

Not hardly. I can go to church every Sunday of my life and it won't make a bit of difference as to my eternal place in this universe. From conversations I've been a part of the big stumbling block for most people is: Why would a loving God consign His children to a bottomless pit of fire and misery forever?

I'm not in any way intending to make light of a very serious subject, but in effect, anyone who does not accept Christ as their Savior (read John 14:6 to get started on the need for Jesus), gets shown the eternal red card.

In sports and in life, there's always a ref

From the rule book of FIFA (Fédération Internationale de Football Association):

A player, substitute or substituted player is sent off and shown the red card if he commits any of the following seven offences:

1. Is guilty of serious foul play
2. Is guilty of violent conduct
3. Spits at an opponent or any other person
4. Denies the opposing team a goal or an obvious goal scoring opportunity by deliberately handling the ball (this does not apply to a goalkeeper within his own penalty area)
5. Denies an obvious goal scoring opportunity to an opponent moving towards the player’s goal by an offence punishable by a free kick or a penalty kick
6. Uses offensive or insulting or abusive language and/or gestures
7. Receives a second caution in the same match

In football (the real kind), a caution is also known as a yellow card. So above, you have the immediate sending off offenses and below are the ones you can commit once and get away with it, but do it twice and you're off!

A player is cautioned and shown the yellow card if he commits any of the following seven offences:

1. Is guilty of unsporting behavior
2. Shows dissent by word or action
3. Persistently infringes the Laws of the Game
4. Delays the restart of play
5. Fails to respect the required distance when play is restarted with a corner kick, free kick or throw-in
6. Enters or re-enters the field of play without the referee’s permission
7. Deliberately leaves the field of play without the referee’s permission

Go back and read those again (please)...

Now, think of God as the referee and all of us as the players.

In the caution department, I can't count the number of times I've been guilty of unsporting behavior in life. I have shown dissent, persistently infringed the laws of the game (Ten Commandments) and done many things without the referee's permission. So from that alone, I have earned more than one caution and deserve to be sent off. 

In football, getting a straight red is not helpful to the team. It leaves your mates a man down and at a distinct disadvantage for the remainder of the game. In the realm of bookable offenses, I like to think that I've not been that bad. But in my younger days I was guilty of foul play, violent conduct and abusive language and gestures. I would have had no leg to stand on if God had decided that He'd had enough and showed me the red.

"That's not fair!" you shout. "We have no way of knowing for sure if God is who you say he is. And besides that if I haven't even played the game I don't deserve to be punished!"

All great points. I'm not here to judge anyone. I'm just sharing what I think about this whole Heaven and Hell thing. My understanding is that Hell was not created for us to begin with. Although Revelation 20:15 indicates that anyone who's name is not found in the Book of Life is cast into the Lake of Fire, I don't think that counts as an eternity of torment for those who did not accept Christ in this life. I'm just guessing, but the Lake of Fire sounds like an eternal red card: you're out of the game.

There also seems to be a lot of chatter about how unfair it is that people who don't even know about Jesus can end up getting shown the red through no fault of their own. For that particular point, I typically refer to Matthew 24:14 which indicates that everyone will get the chance to hear and make a decision.

I believe that God is a God of love. He is like our earthly parents. Our parents punish us when we mess up but always give us another chance. We get things that we don't deserve and we don't get things that we do (deserve). Getting things we don't deserve can be called Grace. and not getting things that we do deserve can be called Mercy. 

I'm not a bad guy. I work hard, I do the best I can to support my family and be a good husband and father; I'm like billions of other people on this planet. Nothing about me is special except for one thing:

I have accepted that Jesus was/is the earthly Son of God and that he died on the cross for my sins and then defeated death so that I, too, might defeat death at the end of my days here. In other words, I may be guilty of multiple red card offenses but through Jesus, I've escaped a lifetime ban.

You can believe that I'm crazy or whatever you prefer to think. God can't be defined in a blog. All I can do is share what I think and hope that spurs a dialog about what others believe.

So, what do you think?

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This post is not about Tim Tebow

After going for so long  - several months - without writing much of anything, the blog faucet has apparently been turned on. I'm not up to a post every day, or several posts a day as those professional bloggers do, but I have a boiling cauldron of subjects in my head that want to be written about; the trouble is, which one do I pick when I can only write occasionally as time and circumstance dictate?

It's Friday morning; I've had a subject in my head for about 24 hours that has been working itself into a full-fledged thought line that would make a bang-up blog post. And then last night happened...

                               Tim Terrific does it again...

It's getting to the point where casual fans or those who aren't even really football fans are starting to be touched by the buzz surrounding the man who some call the worst quarterback in the NFL. The problem is, this mess of mechanics, this poster-boy for what is not an NFL-caliber quarterback...is winning. The Denver Broncos are 5-5; not a stellar win-loss record. But they are 4-1 since Tebow began starting games and, believe it or not, are a half-game out of first place in the generally woeful AFC West.

But this blog post is not about Tim Tebow...

I've been thinking a lot about human nature lately. It actually started back in September or October as I was getting ready to head off to Haiti on our latest mission trip. One of these days I'm going to break down and start learning Creole. If God continues to call me to Haiti it's a given that learning the language is something I need to do. But in lieu of learning Creole this year, I brushed up on the little French I know and while researching Les Cayes, the area where we were going to be working, I ran across some Haitian proverbs.

Recent readers may remember the proverb Dye mon gen mon that I wrote about on November 14th. Beyond the mountain is another mountain. The proverb that got me thinking yesterday is Degaje pa peche. The literal translation I found was managed by sin. However it's more colloquially understood to mean to get by is not a sin. What does that mean? Basically, it means if I have to do something that I might not normally do - lie, cheat, steal, bend the rules if not completely break them - in order to get by...to feed myself or my family or to somehow survive, then it's not a bad thing.

I think Solomon recognized this mindset back in the day; Proverbs 28:21 [NIV] says, "To show partiality is not good--yet a man will do wrong for a piece of bread."

                              Motorized bike...sort of

In the grand scheme of things, getting a boost from passing vehicles while riding your bike is probably not something many people consider sinful. However, our translator said it was illegal (as it is in the USA). We all agreed the greater risk likely lay in the danger, not the illegality. Driving through Haiti - especially in Port au Prince - can be harrowing enough. But holding on to a speeding truck while riding a rickety bike? The man in the picture was apparently willing to break the law in order to cut his travel time significantly, even at the risk of physical harm, if not arrest.

All of this got me thinking about how we live out our Christian faith. What things do we do each day or maybe just occasionally that would fall under the heading of to get by is not a sin? Do we speed in our cars to get somewhere more quickly - kind of like the man on the bike? Do we hit the express lane at the grocery store with more than ten items because we have somewhere else to be? Do we cheat on our taxes because we need that extra money this year from our return? Do we take advantage of someone else's misfortune when it benefits us and no one knows? Do we throw someone under the bus at work because it makes us look better or gives us a leg up for promotion?

I could go on...and I could give specific examples of where I've fallen short of God's perfect standard...today, yesterday...even while I was in Haiti on mission. How bad is that?

We are creatures who desire comfort. We like to be comfortable. And we like to feel important and valulable. So I totally get the mindset behind to get by is not a sin. And as I've mentioned before, Haiti is the poorest country in the Western Hemisphere so, can we really blame them if hitching a ride, keeping some found money, snitching a loaf of bread for their family...doesn't feel like it's a bad thing?

I'm not writing this to judge the man catching a free tow. I'm trying not to be the judging kind. What I want to do - and what all of us need to do more of - is think about stuff. You may be reading this and you're not a Christian. You might be thinking to yourself, 'How can that guy possibly turn any subject into a discussion about faith?'

The answer to that is, 'Because everything we do impacts our faith.' Jesus' Apostles personally witnessed some amazing things during His time on Earth. But when Jesus told them to go and make disciples of all nations, he wasn't talking about them just going and telling them about the Gospel of salvation, he wanted their whole lives to be a witness for others. He wanted their faith to be an unspoken component of the Gospel that, like creation, bears silent witness to its veracity.

As Christians, we often quote Romans 1:20 when talking to others about how God's creation speaks for itself.  Apply that to your life. If someone you know is talking to others about your faith, can they say it (your faith) speaks for itself? Or do they stumble over some of the things you may have done to get by?

Degaje pa peche may be true on Earth, but if we claim to follow God, we are held to a much higher standard. Yes, salvation is a free gift from our Creator, but our faith should reflect His grace, not the same old, worldly attitudes we carried with us before. I know I've got a ways to go, but I'm trying.

What do you think?

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